You know that moment when someone asks you to do something and your whole body screams "NO!" but your mouth says "Of course, I'd love to help"?
That split second where you betray yourself without even realizing it?
Where you hand over the keys to your emotional world to someone else and let them drive your life into the ground?
Yeah. We're done with that.
Because this isn't just happening in that one moment.
→ You say yes when you mean no constantly.
→ You manage everyone's moods like it's your job.
→ You obsess over getting things "perfect" because good enough feels dangerous.
→ You check with the peanut gallery before trusting your own decisions.
→ You work twice as hard to prove you're worthy of basic respect.
→ You feel responsible for other people's feelings, problems, and reactions.
Here's what I need you to understand:
You're not broken, "too sensitive," or "too much."
Your nervous system learned these codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing patterns for good reasons - they kept you safe when you were small.
But now they're keeping you small.
This isn't just a book club.
It's nervous system rewiring with witnesses.
For four weeks, you'll gather with women who know what it's like to live in codependent, perfectionist, or people-pleasing loops - the habits I call Emotional Outsourcing™.
Here's what you need to understand:
Your people-pleasing isn't a character flaw. It's a survival strategy your nervous system learned when you were small. And survival strategies that live in your body don't change from more self-awareness. They change from new experiences in safe community.
What happens when you stop Emotional Outsourcing (real results from my programs)
"I told my boss I couldn't cover for his poor planning anymore. He actually respected the boundary." - LaTonya
"I stopped checking in with my mom before making decisions about my own life. She survived the shock." - Jessica
"I let my friend be disappointed instead of scrambling to fix her mood. Turns out she got over it." - Elena
"I asked for the promotion I'd been wanting for three years. Got it immediately. Apparently I was 'overdue.'" - Sofia
"I stopped saying 'sorry' for taking up space. My relationships got better, not worse." - Ana
The pattern?
Every person I spoke with wished they'd started this work years earlier.
Your Journey: 4 Weeks of Transformation
Each week includes live discussion using deep inquiry questions designed to bypass surface-level understanding, plus somatic exercises that teach your nervous system it's safe to have needs.
What's included
4 weekly live Zoom gatherings (approx 60 min)
with Eve from my team facilitating using my curated discussion prompts
Somatic practices
woven into each session - grounding, orienting, breath pacing, and embodied boundary work
Deep inquiry questions
that pierce beneath the surface to help you see your patterns clearly
Nervous system-informed group agreements
that honor your humanity and create safety for authentic sharing
Integration support
between calls with journal prompts and reflection practices
The change to make new friends
in the breakout sessions and the connected online community that is NOT on Facebook
Community with humans who get it
no more explaining why you said "yes" when you meant "no" for the thousandth time
Want even more support?
Add Week 5: Live Q&A with me - bring your questions, challenges, and victories directly to the source
Add Week 6: Transformational breathwork session with me - somatic integration to anchor your new patterns
Here's the deal
End Emotional Outsourcing launches September 30th. This Book Club starts October 14th.
You can read the book alone and hope the insights stick. Or you can be part of the first group to experience this framework in community, with practice, with witnesses who celebrate when you choose yourself instead of punishing you for it.
Your nervous system changes faster with witnesses. When you practice new patterns in a group that gets why choosing yourself feels so terrifying, the shifts actually stick.
Investment
This closes October 14th
I don't know when I'll run this again.
What I know is that every day you wait is another day your people-pleasing pattern gets more entrenched.
Stop waiting for permission to put yourself first.
Get the book. Gather your people. Join us.
FAQ (a.k.a. things your nervous system might be whispering before you sign up)
Nope. You can stay quiet, camera off, and just soak it in. Some people find their nervous system needs a few weeks before they share - and that's welcome.
No. This is a book club. Think of it like training your nervous system to try new moves, not diving into trauma processing. Keep your therapist if you've got one.
Life happens. Sessions are recorded and available for everyone enrolled for a limited time, so you can catch up on your own time.
Absolutely not... because there's nothing to "fix." You're not broken. That's a central tenet of the book, so you're prolly gonna want to come read it with us.
That said, these four weeks aren't a magic wand - they're a start. You'll learn how to spot your patterns in real time and practice somatic tools that actually shift them.
Suggested contribution is $27. If you can pay more, you're helping someone else join. If you need to pay less, please do. No shame, no judgment. Everyone deserves access. Baddaboom.
Nope. You'll get plenty out of it whether you're on page 10 or 210. The discussions are designed to meet you wherever you are, and we do 2 chapters a week so there is always time to catch up!
First of all - hi, same. Second, this is why the club exists. We go slow, we practice consent, and you decide what's right for you each week. Lurking is allowed. Silence is allowed. Breathing deeply in your Zoom square counts as participation.
You'll need to be enrolled in the main Book Club to add the extras. The Q&A (week 5) and breathwork (week 6) are there to deepen what you've already been practicing.
Eve is my trusted team member who's been steeped in this work for years. She knows my frameworks inside and out and is gifted at holding space for groups. I'll be in the bonus Q&A week if you want face time with me directly.
Then you hate it. Your nervous system might resist change initially - that's normal. But if you're genuinely miserable, we're not going to hold you hostage. Life's too short.
Yes! Order your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing (available September 30th) and ideally get extra copies for friends. This work is more powerful when you're not doing it alone.
Your nervous system has been running the same program since childhood.
Time to teach it some new moves.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Beatriz Victoria Albina, NP, MPH, is a UCSF-trained Nurse Practitioner, Master Certified Somatic Life Coach, and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner with a Master’s in Public Health. A proud Oberlin College grad (class of flannel shirts and Ani DiFranco on repeat), she is the creator of the term Emotional Outsourcing™ - her term for the codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing thought habits that disconnect people from their self-trust, boundaries, and authentic desires, and author of the forthcoming future bestselling book End Emotional Outsourcing: Your Guide to Overcoming Codependent, Perfectionist & People-Pleasing Habits.
Béa (Bay-ah) is known for her sharp, science-backed approach that bridges nervous system regulation, somatic healing, and intersectional feminism. Her work unpacks how childhood emotional conditioning, socialization, and systems of oppression shape our inner narratives -- and how reclaiming our bodies as safe homes can change everything.
Through her flagship program Anchored, her podcast Feminist Wellness, and her courses in nervous system education and somatics, she’s helped thousands of smart, self-aware folks finally stop performing for love and start living in alignment with their values. Her work is both deeply educational and radically tender, rooted in the belief that you don’t have to earn your worth - you were born worthy of love, care and all good things in this life.
Born in Mar del Plata, Argentina, Béa grew up in the great state of Rhode Island. She lives in NY with her wife Billey, too many houseplants, a mischievous cat, and a deep reverence for the earth beneath her feet.