12 DAYS TO END EMOTIONAL OUTSOURCING
Stop Disappearing When You Need to Show Up Most
Free live community-based experience
with bestselling author Beatriz Victoria Albina, NP, MPH, SEP
LIVE daily sessions December 15-26, 2025 at 12 pm ET (or watch the recordings)
You know exactly what you need to say.
The words are right there. You've rehearsed them seventeen times. You know the conversation needs to happen. You know the boundary needs to be set. You know you should say no.
And then the moment comes.
Your throat closes. Your mind goes blank. You hear yourself saying yes when you mean no. You watch yourself disappear right when you need to show up. You walk away furious with yourself for doing it again.
What just happened?
Your nervous system outsourced your sense of safety to the person in front of you. Instead of checking in with what YOU need, your body automatically scanned THEM for cues. Will they be upset? Disappointed? Will this disrupt the connection? Your system decided their comfort mattered more than your truth - because that's what kept you safe when you were young.
I call this Emotional Outsourcing: when your body learned to prioritize other people's reactions, moods, and needs over your own internal signals. When you stopped asking "what do I want?" and started asking "what will keep them happy with me?"
The problem is, you're not that child anymore. And those strategies that once protected you are now suffocating you.
This is for you if:
✓ You say yes when you mean no, then resent everyone
✓ You freeze in conflict - your words vanish, your body shuts down
✓ You've been stuck on the same decision for months (or years)
✓ You know what you need but you can't make yourself ask for it
✓ You manage everyone's emotions while completely ignoring your own
✓ You understand your patterns perfectly but still can't change them
✓ You're exhausted from performing, accommodating, and shape-shifting
✓ You disappear in your relationships instead of showing up as yourself
If you just thought "that's me," this is for you.
Here's what's NOT going to happen:
❌ I'm not going to tell you to "just set boundaries"
❌ I'm not going to give you scripts to memorize
❌ I'm not going to make you journal about your childhood
❌ I'm not going to teach you breathing exercises that don't work when you actually need them
You don't need more information. You already know what you should do.
What you need is capacity in your nervous system.
The ability to stay in your body when your system wants to shut down. The ability to feel guilt without collapsing. The ability to tolerate someone's disappointment without abandoning yourself. The ability to make decisions even when your body screams danger.
And you can't build that capacity by thinking about it.
You have to practice it.
In your actual nervous system.
With support and community.
What happens over 12 days:
DAYS 1-3: You'll learn to feel your body again
Most people with Emotional Outsourcing patterns live entirely in their heads. You think your feelings instead of feeling them. These first three days, you'll practice dropping back into your body and staying with sensation instead of running to analysis.
What this gives you: The foundation for everything else. You can't trust yourself if you can't feel yourself.
DAYS 4-7: You'll see why your tools fall apart when it matters
You can regulate when you're alone. But when you need to have the actual conversation? When you're about to disappoint someone? Your body takes over. We're going to name exactly why this happens - and what it actually takes to interrupt it.
What this gives you: The end of "why can't I just do this?" shame. It's not you. It's biology.
DAYS 8-10: You'll understand what you actually need
Spoiler: you can't build certain capacities alone. Your nervous system needs other regulated nervous systems nearby to stay present through the scary stuff. This is where most people realize they've been trying to solo-heal something that requires community.
What this gives you: Clarity about whether you can do this yourself or whether you need deeper support
DAYS 11-12: You'll see what's possible with the right container
If these 12 days prove you need more than solo practice, you'll know exactly what that looks like - and you'll have a clear path forward.
What this gives you: A decision. Either you have what you need to keep going, or you know it's time for supported work.
What you'll get:
12 sessions (20-30 min each), starting December 15th at 12 pm ET
All recordings if you can't make it live (December 24 & 25 are pre-recorded and delivered to your inbox for extra holiday support)
Downloadable handouts with journal prompts to guide your growth
Private community where you can be messy, imperfect, and real with people who get it
Daily practices that rewire your nervous system (not just your thinking)
Lifetime access to all materials - download as you go
Investment: FREE
Why free? Because I want you to experience what nervous system work actually feels like before you decide if you need more. And because this time of year is hard enough - you shouldn't have to pay to get support.
What's different by December 26th:
You're not going to be "fixed." You're not going to have perfect boundaries. You're not going to suddenly love conflict.
But you will have something you don't have right now:
Proof that you can stay with yourself when it's hard.
You'll have practiced feeling your body instead of leaving it. You'll have created a pause before the automatic yes. You'll have stayed present through discomfort for ten seconds longer than you normally would. You'll have felt guilt without immediately collapsing.
And you'll know - clearly, definitively - whether you can build the bigger capacity you need by yourself or whether you need deeper, sustained support.
That clarity changes everything.
What previous participants have to say...
"I didn't realize I'd completely left my body until I tried to come back to it. That first practice where you asked 'what sensation is loudest?' and I had NO idea - that was the wake-up call I needed."
Meaghan, 42, Little Rock, Arkansas
"The guilt practice saved me. I was about to cancel plans I didn't want to go to, and instead I just sat with the guilt for ten seconds. It didn't kill me. I kept the boundary. That was the first time in my life I'd ever done that."
Tim, 55, Boston, MA
"These 12 days showed me I'd been trying to think my way out of a body problem. I finally understood why all my boundary work wasn't sticking - I was trying to do it alone. That's when I knew I needed the longer container. Six months in Anchored changed what years of solo work couldn't touch."
Pat, 28, London, England
December is going to come with its challenges whether you join this or not.
The family dynamics are going to activate. The obligations are going to pile up. The old roles are going to fit like they never left. Your nervous system is going to do backflips trying to keep everyone comfortable.
You can white-knuckle your way through it alone, trying to remember what you read in that boundary book, beating yourself up every time you say yes when you mean no.
Or you can spend 20 minutes a day learning how to actually stay with yourself when your system wants to run. With other people who understand. With practices that work in your body, not just your mind.
Your choice.
Sign up free:
12 Days to End Emotional Outsourcing
December 15-26, 2024
Daily live sessions at 12 pm ET (or watch the replay)
Sessions are capped so the community stays intimate. Once we're full, we're full.
FAQ
What if I can't make it live?
Every session is recorded. You'll get lifetime access to all replays. December 24th & 25th are pre-recorded and sent directly to your inbox.
What if I miss a day?
You'll have access to all recordings. Show up consistently—that's where the magic happens. Nervous system work isn't Netflix. Consistency matters.
Is this really free?
Yes. No credit card required. No upsells during the 12 days. I want you to experience this work before you decide if you need more and if you want more time with me and my communities, I have lots of options for that that I’ll be sharing during our time together!
Will this fix my codependency?
No. Twelve days won't "fix" patterns that took decades to form. But it will show you what's actually required to change them - and whether you can do that alone or need support.
What if I've already done a lot of personal growth work?
That’s awesome! You'll probably recognize these patterns immediately. But knowing about them and having the somatic or body-based capacity to interrupt them are two different things. This is about building capacity, not gathering information.
I'm really struggling right now. Is this the right time?
If you're in crisis, please reach out to a mental health professional. This program is for people who are functional but exhausted - who know their patterns and want to actually change them AND who are able to do the activities of daily living and aren’t in acute crisis.
What happens after the 12 days?
You'll have clarity about what you need next. If you want to continue with deeper work, I'll share information about my 6-month coaching program and my shorter courses. But there's no pressure. This experience is valuable on its own.
Listen.... You've been trying to think your way out of this for years.
What if the answer isn't more insight?
What if it's not more understanding?
What if it's not more journaling about why you do what you do?
What if you just need to practice staying with yourself when your nervous system wants to run?
Twentyish minutes a day. Twelve days. Free.
We start December 15th. I hope you're there.
Béa
About Your Teacher
Beatriz Victoria Albina, NP, MPH, is a UCSF-trained Nurse Practitioner, Master Certified Somatic Life Coach, and Somatic Experiencing Practitioner with a Master’s in Public Health. A proud Oberlin College grad (class of flannel shirts and Ani DiFranco on repeat), she is the creator of the term Emotional Outsourcing™ - her verbiage for the codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing thought habits that disconnect people from their self-trust, boundaries, and authentic desires. She is also the bestselling author of End Emotional Outsourcing: How to Overcome Your Codependent, Perfectionist & People-Pleasing Habits.
Béa (Bay-ah) is known for her sharp, science-backed approach that bridges nervous system regulation, somatic healing, and intersectional feminism. Her work unpacks how childhood emotional conditioning, socialization, and systems of oppression shape our inner narratives -- and how reclaiming our bodies as safe homes can change everything.
Through her flagship program Anchored, her podcast Feminist Wellness, and her courses in nervous system education and somatics, she’s helped thousands of smart, self-aware folks finally stop performing for love and start living in alignment with their values. Her work is both deeply educational and radically tender, rooted in the belief that you don’t have to earn your worth
Born in Mar del Plata, Argentina, Béa grew up in the great state of Rhode Island. She lives in NY with her wife Billey, too many houseplants, a mischievous cat, and a deep reverence for the earth beneath her feet.