I’m not here to talk about a specific tragedy, but rather to talk about how we think about process, and sit with this level of grief, this level of tragedy. It starts with this: The purpose of thought-work is not to make us feel better. The purpose of thought-work is not to ignore what’s happening,…

A key component of codependent thinking is the misguided belief that it is our job to rescue others. We’ll dive into the trope of the rescuer. Why and how we do it and what we can do instead of rescuing, which is to be supportive to the people we love. Codependent thinking is this really…

Regret is to feel sorry, disappointed, distressed or remorseful about the past. To remember with a feeling of loss or sorrow. To mourn. Well jeez, that’s dire. Regret is some heavy business. When we are living in regret, we are abandoning ourselves.  We are abandoning and exiling the version of us that made those decisions.…

Often at the core of our codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing habits are emotionally immature parents.  Our parents are older than us, and as children, we would understandably look to them for wisdom and guidance. But parents are fallible human people like us too. They have their own baggage, trauma, issues. They have their own upbringing…

I came up with a saying some years ago around relationships. And as always, that can mean dating or partnerships, friendships, work-spouse relationship, parent-child, and that is this: I want to invite you to be the cake and to let everyone else in your life be the icing on the perfect cake that is you.…

The self-abandonment cycle happens when we overdo for others, we over-function, we do things people haven’t asked us to do, things people could totally do for themselves. We live their lives for us. And we do this from our codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing habits unwittingly because we learned in childhood that this is how you…