Money Is Emotional: A Deep Dive Into Financial Therapy and Emotional Outsourcing

When we talk about money, we’re never just talking about money.

In this powerful conversation with therapist and author Aja Evans, we peel back the layers of financial shame, childhood conditioning, emotional outsourcing, and collective healing to reimagine our relationship with money. Aja is the author of Feel Good Finance: Untangling Your Relationship with Money for Better Mental, Emotional, and Financial Well-Being and a board-certified therapist specializing in financial therapy.

Together, we explore the intersection of money, mental health, and how emotional outsourcing (those codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing habits) shapes the way we give, spend, save, and sacrifice.

Why We Avoid Talking About Money

Aja breaks down the cultural, familial, and emotional roots of money shame. Many of us inherited silent, secretive money stories from our caregivers, beliefs that now shape our adult choices without us even realizing it. From whether we believe it’s okay to talk about rent at the dinner table to the subtle ways we tie our self-worth to our income, Aja names what so many of us feel but rarely say.

And spoiler alert, money is emotional. Full stop.

Financial Therapy and Emotional Outsourcing

We unpack how emotional outsourcing, shaping our identity and choices around pleasing others, often extends into our financial lives. Whether you’re over-giving in relationships, stuck in debt to maintain someone else’s comfort, or afraid to set boundaries with financially controlling family members, financial therapy helps you ask: What do I really want? At what cost?

Aja’s compassionate yet direct approach to financial therapy invites us to:

• Recognize where our giving becomes self-abandonment

• Unpack the emotional labor behind our money choices

• Rebuild self-trust around spending, saving, and investing

• Step out of survival mode and into intention

The Cost of Financial Codependency

We talk through real-world examples, like clients who can’t afford to speak their truth because their parents pay their bills, and givers who burn out trying to save others with money. And we name the societal narratives that tell us our worth is tied to what we earn or how little we spend.

Aja invites us to pause and ask: What are you trying to feel by giving, spending, or saving this way? And more importantly, Is it working?

Because too often, we’re asking money, or a shopping trip, or a gin and tonic, to do the job our inner healing needs to do.

Reclaiming Nourishment and Community

One of the most tender parts of this conversation centers on nourishment. What does it mean to nourish ourselves emotionally, spiritually, and culturally, when capitalism teaches us to consume endlessly but never feel full?

Aja speaks from the heart about the power of food, lineage, and community. Whether it’s a home-cooked meal from your grandmother or a table full of dips and laughter with friends, money can either disconnect us from our roots or become a tool for reconnection if we’re intentional.

We also explore how wellness culture has pathologized traditional foods, commodified health, and distanced us from ancestral wisdom in the name of profit. And how choosing joy, community, and comfort on our own terms is, in fact, a radical act.

What Is “Good” vs. “Bad” Debt, Really?

Aja challenges the binary of “good” vs. “bad” debt. Instead of moralizing our student loans or car payments, she asks us to look deeper. What did that debt make possible? What did it give you access to? And who decides what kind of debt is respectable?

This lens is especially important for those of us carrying debt we feel ashamed of. You are not alone. You’re not a failure. And your financial story is still unfolding.

Final Takeaways: It’s Not About the Sweater (But It Kinda Is)

In one of the most unexpectedly profound metaphors of the episode, we talk about the joy and reclamation in darning an old black sweater instead of just buying a new one. Fixing what’s worn. Creating something new with your own hands. And what we might be missing — creativity, pride, pleasure — when we ask money to just “buy away” our discomfort.

Because that sweater? It’s a metaphor for your relationship with yourself.

Listen In and Reflect

If you’ve ever felt guilt, shame, or confusion about your financial life, this episode is a soft landing and a powerful invitation to feel your way through it. You are not broken. You are not alone. And your relationship with money can be a source of healing, not harm.

🎧 Listen to the full episode on Feminist Wellness wherever you get your podcasts.
📚 Grab your copy of Feel Good Finance by Aja Evans
📱 Follow her on IG & TikTok: @ajaetherapy