Why You’re Scared to Join Anchored (And Why You Should Anyway)

Feeling drawn to the Anchored coaching program but keep finding reasons not to join? Your barriers aren’t protecting you—they’re pointing to exactly what you need to heal.

 

I need to have a real conversation with you today. I’ve been doing this work for years now, and I keep seeing the same thing happen over and over again. The people who need Anchored coaching program the most—the ones who would absolutely transform their lives in this 6-month journey—are the ones who talk themselves out of joining.

And here’s what breaks my heart: they’re not staying away because the program isn’t right for them. They’re staying away because of the exact same patterns that are keeping them stuck in emotional outsourcing in the first place.

So today, I want to name the real barriers. I want to get specific about what might actually be happening in your mind and heart when you see Anchored, feel that flutter of “oh my god, this is exactly what I need,” and then immediately start building a case for why you can’t or shouldn’t join.

Because here’s the truth: those barriers? They’re not actually protecting you. They’re costing you everything.

The Fear of Being Perceived as a Burden in Group Coaching

Let me start with the big one—the fear of group coaching that you’ll be seen as a burden. You’re looking at this group coaching program and thinking, “What if I’m too much? What if my problems are too heavy? What if I take up too much space and everyone else regrets that I’m there?”

I see you. I see how you’ve spent your whole life making yourself smaller, easier, more digestible for others. How you’ve learned to present only the polished version of your struggles—the ones that come with solutions attached, the ones that don’t require too much from anyone else.

But can we talk about what this is actually costing you? When you spend your life worried about being a burden, you never actually get to receive the support you desperately need. You’re running on empty, giving from a completely depleted well, and then wondering why you feel so resentful and exhausted all the time.

You’re not a burden. Your struggles are not too much. Your pain is not too heavy. And in Anchored, we don’t just tolerate your whole story—we welcome it. Because here’s what I know that you might not know yet: your healing happens in community. Your breakthrough happens when you finally stop performing and start showing up as you actually are.

The Compulsion to Show Up and Overgive

Then there’s this one that really gets me—the fear that if you join Anchored coaching, you’ll immediately fall into that old pattern of overfunctioning. You’re thinking, “I’ll join this group and then I’ll feel responsible for everyone else’s progress. I’ll be the one checking in on everyone, making sure everyone feels included, probably even trying to help facilitate the group without being asked.”

And you know what? You might be right. At first. Because that’s how deep these patterns run.

But here’s the thing—in Anchored, we see this pattern coming from a mile away. We know that your overfunctioning is not generosity. It’s not kindness. It’s a trauma response. It’s your nervous system trying to stay safe by controlling how others feel about you.

And the cost of this pattern? Oh honey, the cost is astronomical. You’re exhausted because you’re responsible for everyone else’s emotional experience. You’re resentful because your needs never get met. You’re lonely because nobody actually knows the real you—they only know the version of you that exists to make their life easier.

In Anchored, we don’t just let you overfunction and call it helping. We lovingly interrupt that pattern. We teach you how to contribute to the group without losing yourself in it. We show you what it feels like to be valued for who you are, not just what you do.

The Terror of Being Judged

And then there’s the judgment piece. You’re imagining walking into this 6 month coaching program and everyone immediately sizing you up, deciding whether your problems are legitimate, whether you’re working hard enough, whether you deserve to be there.

Here’s what I need you to understand: that fear of judgment? It’s not actually about us. It’s about the voice in your head that has been judging you your entire life. It’s the internalized criticism that tells you you’re not doing enough, not healing fast enough, not grateful enough, not strong enough.

The cost of living under this constant fear of judgment is that you never get to truly be known. You’re always performing, always calculating, always wondering if you’re doing it right. You’re exhausted from the performance, and you’re lonely because nobody actually sees you.

In Anchored, we create a space where that internal judge gets to take a back seat. Where you get to discover what it feels like to be witnessed without being evaluated. Where your worth isn’t determined by your progress or your gratitude or your ability to stay positive.

The Fear of Being “Found Out”

Let’s talk about the imposter syndrome that’s probably running through your mind right now. You’re thinking, “What if I join Anchored and everyone realizes I don’t actually have it together? What if they see that I’m struggling just as much as everyone else?”

Beautiful human, this is the cost of perfectionism. You’ve built your entire identity around being the one who has it figured out, the one who doesn’t need help, the one who can handle anything. And it’s killing you.

Because here’s what perfectionism actually costs you: it costs you connection. It costs you support. It costs you the relief of being seen in your humanity. It costs you the joy of being loved not despite your struggles, but including them.

In Anchored, we don’t expect you to have it together. We expect you to be human. We expect you to be learning, growing, sometimes failing, always trying. Your struggles don’t disqualify you from being here—they’re exactly why you belong here.

The Belief That You Don’t Deserve Help

This one is so insidious because it sounds so noble. “I don’t deserve help until I’ve helped everyone else first.” “Other people have it worse.” “I should be grateful for what I have.”

Can we just pause and acknowledge how absolutely devastating this belief is? You’ve made yourself the last person on your own priority list. You’ve decided that your needs matter less than everyone else’s. You’ve convinced yourself that your pain isn’t valid unless it’s the worst pain in the room.

The cost of this? You never get help. You never get support. You never get to experience what it feels like to be cared for. You’re constantly giving from an empty cup and then wondering why you feel so resentful and depleted.

In Anchored, we don’t rank pain. We don’t have a hierarchy of who deserves help more. We start with the radical premise that you matter. Your needs matter. Your healing matters. Not because you’ve earned it, but because you exist.

The Fear of Taking Up Space

“What if I’m too much? What if my emotions are too big? What if my story is too complicated?” You’ve spent your whole life making yourself smaller, and now you’re terrified that if you show up fully in group coaching, you’ll be overwhelming.

Here’s what this fear is actually costing you: you’re living half a life. You’re only sharing the parts of yourself that are easy to digest. You’re only expressing the emotions that are comfortable for others. You’re only telling the parts of your story that come with neat little bows.

And the result? You’re lonely. You’re misunderstood. You’re exhausted from the constant self-editing. You’re resentful because you’re always accommodating everyone else’s comfort at the expense of your own authenticity.

In Anchored, we don’t just tolerate your bigness—we celebrate it. We want your full emotions. We want your complicated story. We want you to take up space because you deserve to take up space.

The Terror of Appearing Weak

This might be the most painful one of all. You’ve built your entire identity around being strong, being the helper, being the one everyone else leans on. The thought of admitting you need help feels like a complete identity crisis.

But can we talk about what this “strength” is actually costing you? It’s costing you authenticity. It’s costing you intimacy. It’s costing you the relief of being supported. It’s costing you the joy of being interdependent instead of isolated.

Real strength isn’t never needing help. Real strength is knowing when to ask for it. Real strength is being vulnerable enough to grow. Real strength is choosing your healing over your image.

In Anchored, we redefine strength. We show you that vulnerability is not weakness—it’s the birthplace of connection, healing, and authentic power.

The Fear of Disappointing the Group

You’re worried you won’t progress fast enough, that you’ll be the one who holds everyone back, that you’ll disappoint us with your pace of growth in this 6 month coaching program.

Here’s what this fear is costing you: it’s keeping you stuck in the same achievement-oriented, performance-based mindset that got you into emotional outsourcing in the first place. You’re still trying to earn your worth through your performance, even in your healing.

In Anchored, we don’t measure success by speed. We measure it by courage. We measure it by showing up. We measure it by choosing growth over comfort, connection over isolation, authenticity over performance.

Your pace is your pace. Your journey is your journey. And we’re not here to judge it—we’re here to witness it and support it.

The Belief That You Need to Fix Yourself First

This is the most paradoxical one of all. You think you need to overcome your issues before you can join a coaching program designed to help you overcome those very issues.

It’s like saying you need to be clean before you can take a shower. It’s like saying you need to know how to swim before you can take swimming lessons.

The cost of this belief? You stay stuck. You keep trying to heal in isolation, using the same strategies that haven’t worked for years. You keep thinking that if you just try harder, read more books, do more personal development work, you’ll eventually be “ready” for support.

But here’s the truth: you don’t heal in isolation. You heal in relationship. You heal in community. You heal by being witnessed, supported, and lovingly challenged by people who see your worth even when you can’t see it yourself.

The Fear of Starting Something You Won’t Finish

And then there’s this fear that might be the most honest one of all: “What if I join Anchored and then I don’t follow through? What if I start strong and then life gets in the way? What if I waste my money and everyone’s time because I’m just not disciplined enough to see it through?”

This fear feels so rational, doesn’t it? So responsible. You’re being realistic about your track record. You’re protecting yourself from another disappointment, another thing you started but didn’t finish, another reason to beat yourself up.

But let’s talk about what this fear is actually revealing: you’ve been trying to heal in isolation for so long that you don’t remember what it feels like to have people actually invested in your success. You’ve been white-knuckling your way through self-improvement, relying on willpower and discipline, and when those inevitably run out, you blame yourself for not being strong enough.

Here’s what this pattern is costing you: you never start anything that could actually change your life because you’re so afraid of not finishing it perfectly. You stay stuck in the safe zone of dissatisfaction rather than risk the vulnerability of growth. You rob yourself of progress because you’re terrified of imperfect progress.

But here’s what you don’t know yet about Anchored: you’re not doing this alone. This isn’t another course you have to muster up motivation for. This isn’t another program where your success depends entirely on your individual willpower.

We’ve built accountability into the very structure of this group coaching program because we know that isolation is where your patterns thrive. When you start to pull back, when life gets complicated, when your old habits start calling you back—that’s not when we abandon you. That’s when we show up even stronger.

You have a whole group of people who are invested in your growth, who notice when you’re struggling, who reach out when you’re quiet. You have facilitators who understand that healing isn’t linear, that progress isn’t perfect, that showing up is more important than showing up perfectly.

The truth is, you’ve never failed at finishing something—you’ve failed at trying to do everything alone. And in Anchored, you’re not alone. You’re held. You’re supported. You’re accountable not just to yourself, but to a community that genuinely wants to see you succeed.

Your fear of not finishing isn’t protecting you from failure—it’s guaranteeing that you’ll never experience what it feels like to be truly supported through a transformation. It’s keeping you stuck in the same cycle of starting and stopping, trying and failing, hoping and giving up.

In Anchored, we don’t expect perfection. We expect participation. We don’t measure success by never stumbling—we measure it by getting back up, by reaching out when you need support, by letting the group catch you when you’re falling.

So what if instead of asking “What if I don’t finish?” you asked “What if I finally had the support I needed to see something through?” What if this time was different not because you suddenly became more disciplined, but because you finally weren’t doing it alone?

Why Group Coaching Is Actually the Answer

Here’s what I need you to understand: every single barrier I just described? It’s exactly why you need group coaching benefits. It’s exactly why you need Anchored.

Because these patterns don’t just live in your head—they live in your relationships. They show up in how you connect with others, how you ask for help, how you receive support, how you show up in community.

And you can’t heal relational trauma in isolation. You can’t learn new ways of being in relationship without being in relationship. You can’t practice receiving support without being in community with people who are actually offering it.

In Anchored, these patterns don’t just get talked about—they get lived out in real time. And when they show up, we don’t shame you for them. We celebrate them. Because now we have something to work with. Now we can practice something different.

What Anchored Actually Is

Anchored is not just another program about emotional outsourcing. It’s a 6-month experience of learning how to be in relationship with yourself and others without losing yourself in the process.

It’s learning how to give without depleting yourself. How to receive without feeling guilty. How to show up without performing. How to be loved without earning it.

It’s discovering what it feels like to be seen, really seen, for who you are—not just what you do. It’s experiencing what it’s like to be supported without having to give something back. It’s learning what it means to take up space without apologizing for it.

It’s 6 months of practicing new ways of being with people who are practicing right alongside you. It’s 6 months of being lovingly challenged to choose your authentic self over your adapted self. It’s 6 months of discovering that you are worthy of love, support, and belonging exactly as you are.

The Cost of Staying Stuck

So before you talk yourself out of Anchored again, I want you to really consider the cost of staying where you are.

What is it costing you to keep living in these patterns? What is it costing you to keep giving from an empty cup? What is it costing you to keep making yourself smaller? What is it costing you to keep your needs last on your priority list?

What is it costing your relationships? Your energy? Your joy? Your sense of self? Your dreams?

And what is it costing the people you love? Because when you’re operating from emotional outsourcing, you’re not actually showing up for them either. You’re showing up for who you think they need you to be. You’re showing up from depletion, resentment, and fear.

The Invitation to Join Anchored

So here’s my invitation to you: what if those barriers aren’t signs that you don’t belong in Anchored? What if they’re signs that you absolutely do?

What if the fact that you’re worried about being a burden is exactly why you need to learn how to receive support? What if the fact that you’re afraid of overfunctioning is exactly why you need to practice healthy boundaries in a safe space? What if the fact that you’re terrified of judgment is exactly why you need to experience what it feels like to be unconditionally accepted?

Your barriers aren’t disqualifying you. They’re qualifying you. They’re pointing to exactly what you need to heal.

Anchored starts soon, and I want you there. Not the perfect version of you. Not the version that has it all figured out. Not the version that’s already healed. You. Right now. With all your fears and patterns and protective strategies.

Because that’s who we’re designed to serve. That’s who we’re waiting for. That’s who belongs in this community.

The question isn’t whether you’re ready. The question is whether you’re willing. Willing to be seen. Willing to be supported. Willing to practice something different.

Your healing is waiting for you. Your community is waiting for you. Your authentic self is waiting for you.

The only question is: are you ready to stop waiting and start living?

If yes, you know what to do. Come join us in Anchored. Come home to yourself. Come discover what it feels like to be anchored in your own worth instead of constantly seeking it in others.

We’re here. We’re ready. And we’re waiting for you.

Ready to Join Anchored?

If this resonates with you and you’re ready to stop letting your fears keep you from the transformation you deserve, Anchored coaching program is here for you. This 6 month coaching journey will help you break free from emotional outsourcing patterns and learn to show up authentically in all your relationships.

Don’t let another day pass living half a life. Your community is waiting.

Looking for support with emotional outsourcing and people-pleasing patterns? Anchored is a 6-month group coaching program designed to help you break free from these cycles and learn to show up authentically in your relationships. Learn more about how group coaching can transform your life.