Posts by Victoria Albina
Ep #173: Getting Anchored with Ali Zamora, NP
I am beyond delighted to share a conversation with one of my Anchored clients with you this week. Ali Zamora is a nurse practitioner in family medicine who works in San Bernardino County, California. Her story is an incredible case study in overcoming codependency that I know you’ll all find super inspiring, and she’s here…
Read MoreDo I Stay or Do I Go in This Relationship? (Part 1)
Let’s say you come up with some challenges in your relationship, and it can be so challenging to know what to do. Do you stick it through and make it to the other side of a rough path or do you cut and run? I wish I had the answer for you, my darling kitten.…
Read MoreRegret is Self-Abandonment
Regret is to feel sorry, disappointed, distressed or remorseful about the past. To remember with a feeling of loss or sorrow. To mourn. Well jeez, that’s dire. Regret is some heavy business. When we are living in regret, we are abandoning ourselves. We are abandoning and exiling the version of us that made those decisions.…
Read MoreEp #172: Showing Up for You and Your Nervous System in Tragedy
Given what’s going on in the world right now: the racist-fueled murders in Buffalo and California, the murder of children and teachers in Texas, the ongoing war in Ukraine, and attacks on women’s and LGBTQ+ rights, all during a continuing global pandemic, it’s vital to pause and acknowledge these horrifying tragedies. This week, I wanted…
Read MoreEmotionally Immature Parents
Often at the core of our codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing habits are emotionally immature parents. Our parents are older than us, and as children, we would understandably look to them for wisdom and guidance. But parents are fallible human people like us too. They have their own baggage, trauma, issues. They have their own upbringing…
Read MoreEp #171: Rescuing vs Supporting
One key component of codependent thinking is the misguided belief that it’s our job to rescue others. The trope of the rescuer has us operating and giving, even when we’re running on empty, and while this seems like a worthwhile and honorable endeavor, the truth is there’s a fine line between attempting to rescue those…
Read MoreEp #170: Do I Stay or Do I Go? (Part 2)
In the first part of our relationship mini-series last week, you learned that I can’t actually tell you whether to stay or go when the going gets tough in relationships. However, what I can do is take a deep dive into the science behind relationships and guide you through some questions that will spark self-reflection…
Read MoreBeing The Cake: Let Others Be the Icing
I came up with a saying some years ago around relationships. And as always, that can mean dating or partnerships, friendships, work-spouse relationship, parent-child, and that is this: I want to invite you to be the cake and to let everyone else in your life be the icing on the perfect cake that is you.…
Read MoreEp #169: Do I Stay or Do I Go? (Part 1)
As we learn to see and overcome our codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing thought habits, we may start to question all of our relationships. Some of us may be tempted to swing from deeply enmeshed and codependent to wildly unattached and independent, or even better, to land somewhere in the middle, in interdependence. Say you’re coming…
Read MoreHealing the Self-Abandonment Cycle
The self-abandonment cycle happens when we overdo for others, we over-function, we do things people haven’t asked us to do, things people could totally do for themselves. We live their lives for us. And we do this from our codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing habits unwittingly because we learned in childhood that this is how you…
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