Posts by Victoria Albina
Ep #167: Emotionally Immature Parents
This week’s topic is one that hits close to home for both me and my clients inside Anchored. Our parents or caretakers are who we looked to in childhood for wisdom and guidance, but we forget that they too are fallible humans just like us. And for some of our parents, raising kids was more…
Read MoreEp #166: Be The Cake
If you’re a frequent listener here, you’ll know how much I love a good metaphor, and this episode is no exception. I came up with a saying some years ago that applies to relationships, and it’s this: I want you to be the cake and let everyone else in your life be the delicious icing…
Read MoreEp #165: Style, Confidence, and Feminism with Judith Gaton
I have an important question to ask you my loves: if your body was not a problem to be solved, what would you wear? This beautiful question was posed by my guest today and it is just a morsel of the amazingness she has to share about style and confidence. Judith Gaton is my friend…
Read MoreThe Self-Abandonment Cycle
I want to talk about how our conflict aversion or subtle conflict creation habits play out in a self-abandonment cycle and impact our self-concept— the way we think about and relate to ourselves—and thus the people we love. Those of us living with codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing thought habits, where we define codependent thinking as…
Read MoreEp #164: Healing the Self-Abandonment Cycle
Last week, we kicked off a vital conversation about a cycle of self-abandonment that those of us with codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing thought habits unwittingly put ourselves through. We over-function, overcompensate, and overdo for people who haven’t asked us to, essentially living their lives for them, and this very often leads to feelings of irritation,…
Read MoreClean Fight Club Rules
We’ve delved into what conflict is and why it feels so enormous, how we avoid it and attempt to escape it by pushing it under the rug, pretending it’s not a thing, or how we sort of throw ourselves headlong into it or create it, often without even really realizing we’re doing that. We covered how…
Read MoreEp #163: The Self-Abandonment Cycle
As a chronic codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing thinker, one of the methods I used in childhood and far into adulthood to try to get the love, care, and acceptance I was looking for was to over-give. I used to give from my empty cup instead of from my overflow, more than I wanted to, and…
Read MoreEp #162: Clean Fight Club Rules
Welcome to the final installment of our mini-series all about interpersonal conflict. We’ve been speaking at length about what conflict is and how to support ourselves, and last week, I hinted that I would share something I love so much and have found to be truly helpful in any relationship: Clean Fight Club Rules. If…
Read MoreConflict Doesn’t Have to Be the Worst
We can make conflict, particularly in relationships with the people we care about in our lives, feel a little easier, a little lighter, a little safer to traverse. The dictionary definition of conflict is a serious disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one, which feels like very heavy language indeed. And I think we can…
Read MoreEp #161: Conflict Doesn’t Have to Be the Worst
Last week, we kicked off a vital conversation about conflict. We dove headfirst into it by discussing our disdain for it as folks with codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing thought habits, and how, surprisingly, we sometimes have a subconscious penchant for inciting it with the people we love and care most about. This week, we’re continuing…
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