Posts by Victoria Albina
The Inner Critic: 3 Steps to Manage Your Gremlins
I want to share three tools I use when my inner critic gremlin comes out to eat emotional pizza after dark. They are: awareness, acceptance, action. Awareness When my inner critic gets loud, I used to think that it was me talking. I didn’t know about internal family systems, which is the work of recognizing…
Read MoreEp #136: Getting Anchored: Living with Intention
Have you ever paused to consider if you really believe the hype of your societal, cultural, and familial standards or expectations? Have you been living your life from obligation, moving from thing to thing, until you look up one day, wondering how you even got here? At the core of overcoming our codependent, perfectionist, and…
Read MoreNervous System Resourcing: Anchor Yourself in You
The nervous system is the missing link for so many of us when it comes to our mental and physical health. Understanding how our emotions impact our bodily wellness, how our minds and bodies communicate and are one, and this lens of the nervous system is such a powerful tool for grounding and centering ourselves…
Read MoreEp #135: Attachment and Nervous System Resourcing
You know how much I love nerding out here on the podcast, and I realized it’s been a minute since we talked about one of my favorite topics: polyvagal theory and our nervous systems. So today, we’re diving into a remedy that has been a complete lifesaver for me, and that is nervous system resourcing. …
Read MoreEp #134: Catastrophizing and Reparenting
One pattern I see in all of my clients (and even myself in those moments where I’m not checking my thoughts) is the tendency to catastrophize. So, something small goes wrong, or could potentially go wrong, and even when nothing has gone wrong, our brains spin a tale of the worst possible scenario: the catastrophe…
Read MoreCatastrophizing: Reparenting is the Antidote
One of the thought patterns I see all the time—and used to do myself (ok, I still sometimes do it now)—is catastrophizing. Something small goes wrong or maybe nothing at all is wrong, and your brain spins a tale of the actual worst possible scenario. Maybe you find a bump on your arm, and your…
Read MoreEp #133: Of Course You Did
A vital part of our individual and collective healing involves quite a bit of discomfort. Uncovering our default thought habits and practicing meeting others and ourselves with compassion, care, and without judgment is challenging to say the least, but I’ve got something special for you today that is the ultimate tool for stepping into wild…
Read MoreOf Course You Did: A Tool to Stop Judging Yourself
Judging others is part and parcel of the codependent, perfectionist and people-pleasing way of being. Because we source our worth externally not from within ourselves, we are so scared of being judged by others, because in our unmanaged minds their opinion of us is more important than our opinion of us. So we judge everyone…
Read MoreAre You Being Nice or Kind: How Authenticity is Kindness
What’s the difference between niceness and kindness? Humans socialized as women, in particular, are trained to be nice—to put others and their wants and needs ahead of our own, to self-sacrifice, to be the martyr, savior and saint, to be the fixer. There is also a very specific story about what Nice looks like that often…
Read MoreEp #132: Are You Being Nice or Kind?
Something that I often watch my clients get confused about is the difference between being nice and kind. This is a topic that is essential to our healing, especially as folks with codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing thought habits who tend to externalize our self-worth to other people. I myself have confused these two words for…
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