Posts by Victoria Albina
Conflict Avoidance: Learn to Speak Your Needs
When we believe that other people’s opinions of us matter more than our own, sharing our opinions, wants, needs, desires, setting boundaries, upholding them, and entering into challenging conversations can feel, well, challenging. We’ll look at the thought errors behind conflict avoidance and some simple remedies to help you begin to rewrite and reimagine your experience…
Read MoreEp #78: Minimum Baseline Thinking
If you live with perfectionist thought fantasies of doing all the things, achieving each and every goal you have on your list while feeling amazing the whole time, my sweet love, you probably already know this doesn’t work. Today, I’m calling BS on this thought pattern, and I’m giving you the remedy so you can…
Read MoreMinimum Baseline Thinking: Build Trust With Yourself
When you have the thought habit of perfectionism, it’s so delightful to your brain to make grandiose and enormous plans to change your entire life in one fell swoop. And if that worked, I’d be all about it, but science, my love. My nerdy, nerdy, love. Perfectionism makes you think you have to create and…
Read MoreSelf-Care: Have Your Dinner Before Dessert
Self-care is such a hot topic. These days, taking beautiful and loving care of ourselves is more important than ever and doesn’t ever need to look like a spa experience. Like taking hours to check out of the world. Self-care, in my world, looks very much like checking in and looking at our thoughts and…
Read MoreEp #77: Self-Care: Have Your Dinner Before Dessert
For many of us who are caught up in codependent relationships or codependent ways of thinking, self-care can be challenging, or very much an afterthought. We need to start creating a healthier path towards caring for and valuing ourselves, and so today, I’m providing you with a new framework to start thinking about this concept…
Read MoreAcceptance and Closure: The Last Phase of an Apology
Learn what to do if someone won’t accept your apology, how to accept an apology, and finally, how to give yourself closure when that apology you dream of is just not forthcoming. This is a huge topic for those of us living with codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing thought habits because our egos and our sense…
Read MoreEp #76: Acceptance and Closure
Welcome to the final installment of my mini-series on apologizing. Over the last few weeks, we’ve taken a really deep dive into the anatomy of apologies and mastering the language of apologies, and today, I’ll be sharing what to do if someone won’t accept your apology, how to accept an apology yourself, and how to…
Read MoreHow to Apologize: Mastering the Language of Apologies
Apologizing is such a complicated topic for those of us with codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing thought habits. Our brains got wired early to protect and defend our sometimes fragile-feeling sense of self by not taking responsibility and pushing away the notion that we could do something that someone else doesn’t like, or is offended or…
Read MoreEp #75: Mastering the Language of Apologies
When we live with the thought habits of codependency, perfectionism, and people-pleasing, it can be really challenging to own up and apologize when an apology is due. Our inner children are so desperately trying to protect and defend us that it keeps us from seeing the harm we’ve done to others, and the harm we’re…
Read MoreThe Dangers of False Pre-Apologizing
Do you find yourself apologizing for having needs and wants? For setting a boundary? For taking care of yourself? Do you over-justify those needs and wants along the way? Do you apologize for things that just don’t need an apology like being a human with a human body or a woman with an opinion? So…
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