The Bea Victoria Albina Blog

There’s an email I get from women all the time. Do you have resources for my husband? Is there a podcast episode I could send my boyfriend? Can you recommend…

I want to tell you why I wrote End Emotional Outsourcing, the book I couldn’t find when I needed it most. A book for the folks who feel like they’re…

You had the breakthrough. Maybe it happened in therapy. During breathwork. At a retreat. In a coaching session. During a ceremony. Something opened, and suddenly you could see yourself, your…

Tell me if this sounds familiar. You’re having a perfectly fine day. Your coffee was particularly delicious. Things are going well at work. The dog did not barf on the…

There’s a difficult, and frankly, kind of annoying realization that comes with doing deep emotional work: Not all of our suffering is inherent, necessary, or automatic. Some pain comes with…

You have done the therapy. Read the books. Learned about your nervous system. Maybe you can finally see your people-pleasing, perfectionist, and codependent patterns for what they are. And now…

You say yes when you mean no. You explain your decisions like you’re defending a dissertation. You monitor the room to make sure everyone is okay. You anticipate what people…

If you have ever tried to build a routine, stuck with it for approximately four days, and then wondered why you cannot simply make yourself do the same things in…

You want to stop people pleasing, over-functioning, and abandoning yourself to keep everyone else happy. But you also don’t want to become someone who stops caring about the people you…

If you’ve always been “the helper,” this episode may feel deeply familiar. Maybe you’re a nurse, therapist, teacher, coach, social worker, physician, or caregiver. Maybe people have always described you…