Book Series Bonus #9: Today Is the Day: End Emotional Outsourcing Is Here!
My loves, today is the day. Publication day. The day this book I have poured my heart, my science-nerdy brain, my story, and my whole self into is officially out in the world. And I need you with me - not later, not someday, but today.
Why Preorders Are Critical
What happens this week matters. Whether a book gets printed in large numbers or not depends on preorders. Publishers look at those first-week numbers to decide if it matters enough to keep printing, and that decision ripples out.
It affects whether your local bookstore keeps it in stock, whether your library carries it, whether it’s on the shelf when someone who desperately needs these words goes looking.
Every preorder is you saying, “Yes, this is the story we want more of.” Preorders aren’t just numbers - they’re a signal that what we’re hungry for is tenderness, feminism, somatics, nervous system science, and community care.
This Isn’t About My Bottom Line
I want to be clear, my love: I’m not pushing for preorders because it makes me money. Let me tell you the truth - writing a book these days is actually a money-losing proposition. That’s the reality of publishing right now.
So no, this isn’t about putting dollars in my pockets. What your preorder does is help get these life-changing words into more hands. It makes sure that someone out there who feels broken and unseen, the way I once did, can walk into a bookstore or a library and find this book waiting for them. That’s what matters.
Enough With the Cruelty: We Need More Love
Cruelty is the norm right now. You know it. I know it. We’re steeped in anti-love, anti-care messages all day long: grind harder, toughen up, prove yourself endlessly, don’t need anyone, don’t take care of your neighbor, don’t trust science. Don’t feel too much. That’s the soup we’re swimming in.
And what this book says, what you and I are saying together, is: enough. BASTA. We want warmth. We want connection. We want science that makes us more human, not less.
Why I Wrote End Emotional Outsourcing
When I was trying to get help for my codependent, perfectionist, people-pleasing habits, the words didn’t land for me. They felt pathologizing, shaming, like I was broken. They didn’t name the truth of what I was living. And if you’ve ever felt that too - like you’re trying to get support but the labels just don’t fit - you know how isolating that can be.
So I created a new language. I coined Emotional Outsourcing™ because that’s what it actually is: making our safety, belonging, and worth dependent on everyone and everything outside of us instead of being able to source it from within.
When you hear it that way, it makes sense. So many of you have written me to say this reframing was life-changing, because for the first time you felt seen and understood instead of blamed. That’s the power of naming. That’s why this book matters.
This Isn’t Another “Just Set Boundaries” Book
This isn’t just another self-help book telling you to stop being codependent and get your act together. This is deep - and accessible - nervous system science, psychology, and somatic practice braided together with feminism, compassion, and care.
It’s my story and yours, reflected back with tenderness. It’s a book that says: of course you learned to people-please, of course you bent yourself into knots to keep the peace, of course you felt you had to earn love. And here’s how to stop outsourcing your life and come home to yourself.
How You Can Help: Preorder Today
This is where you come in. I need YOU to help this book hit all the charts, not for bragging rights, but to send a potent message about what we actually need. We need more love. More tenderness. More interdependence and care. Your preorder is how we send that message together.
And if it matters to you - and I know it does - that this voice is a queer Latina immigrant femme voice, that I am standing here married to my very handsome butch lesbian therapist and former librarian wife, then this is how you show it. Preordering says: voices like this matter. Representation matters. Even now. Especially now.
When you buy this book, you’re not only buying the science, the practices, and the love inside it - you’re buying a future where these stories get told again and again.
Order Now and Claim Your Gifts
Tags: emotional outsourcing, nervous system healing, people pleasing, codependency, perfectionism, emotional regulation, nervous system adaptation, trauma healing, self trust, somatic healing