Tenderoni Hotline #20: From Emotional Outsourcing to Embodied Healing: Rose’s Anchored Journey
This week on the Tenderoni Hotline, we’re talking about something so many of us secretly believe but rarely say out loud:
What if I’m just… broken?
We’re joined by the brilliant, grounded, deeply compassionate Rose Zeeland (she/her), Certified Financial Planner and end-of-life doula, for a conversation about what it means to move the massive inner rock of “something is wrong with me” and instead come home to yourself.
Because here’s the truth. When you have spent a lifetime in emotional outsourcing, perfectionism, and nervous system survival mode, it can feel permanent. It can feel uniquely yours. Like everyone else got the instruction manual and you missed the memo.
Rose thought that too. Healing is possible.
From Emotional Flooding to Healing and Finding Home
Before Anchored, Rose found herself in a relationship that activated deep emotional flashbacks and nervous system flooding. She could see herself reacting in ways she did not love, swinging between hyper productivity and shutdown, perfectionism and paralysis, but she did not yet have the language or tools to shift it.
When that relationship ended, something surprising happened. Her nervous system softened.
And that softening opened a door.
In this episode, Rose shares her powerful healing journey from believing she was fundamentally broken to understanding she simply had not found her way home yet.
From trying to fix herself to learning to partner with herself.
From living in her head to inhabiting her body.
What We Explore in This Episode
Together, we dive into:
- How emotional flashbacks and nervous system flooding can masquerade as personality flaws
- Why understanding nervous system science changes your entire healing process
- What it feels like to be vulnerable inside a safe, boundaried healing community
- How somatic practices shortened Rose’s recovery time from overwhelm
- Why healing is not about fixing yourself but about finding your way home
- How this work now supports her clients at the intersection of death and money
Yes. Death and money.
Rose’s work supporting people navigating life limiting illness requires extraordinary grounded presence. She shares how nervous system regulation and somatic healing practices transformed her ability to hold space for others in their most tender moments.
When one of us commits to healing, we help heal the world.
This episode is living proof.
The Power of Healing in Community
We also talk about community. The fear of vulnerability. The terror of being judged. The old shame script that says, “I’m the only one.”
Shame thrives in isolation.
Healing happens in safe connection.
Inside Anchored, vulnerability was met with “me too.”
It was met with witnessing.
It was met with repair.
It was met with care.
Rose shares how the clear boundaries and expectations inside the program created a container where real healing could happen. Not perfection. Not performance. Real, embodied healing.
One of the most powerful shifts she describes is this:
For most of her life, the dominant inner script was “I’m broken.”
Now, when that voice appears, she responds differently.
Instead of trying to fix herself, she says:
“I’m not broken. I just haven’t found home yet. Let’s go look for home.”
That is healing.
Not arriving at some glittering final version of yourself.
Not being regulated all the time.
Not becoming immune to life being lifey.
But building the capacity to return.
To shorten the spiral.
To move the big rocks you have been pushing against for decades.
To practice healing as a way of being.
You Do Not Have to Be Falling Apart to Begin Healing
You do not have to wait until everything is collapsing to start this work.
Rose speaks beautifully about how healing meets you wherever you are. Whether you are crawling through a hard season or standing strong and ready for refinement, the work deepens your capacity.
Healing is not a starting point of zero.
It is an augmentation of the journey you are already on.
If you have ever told yourself:
- I should be able to do this alone
- I can just listen to the podcast and figure it out
- Other people need more support than I do
- I am too much, not enough, or too far gone
I lovingly invite you to suspend disbelief and listen to Rose’s story.
Models of healing matter.
Loving Reminder from This Episode
You are not broken.
You were adapting.
Healing is not about fixing yourself.
It is about reclaiming who you have always been beneath survival strategies.
You get to stop trying to repair a flaw that was never there.
You get to find your way home.
You get to choose healing.
If you are moved by Rose’s story and feel that tug in your gut, Anchored is currently accepting applications.
If you want language for what you are experiencing.
If you want somatic tools that support real nervous system healing.
If you want community that says “me too” instead of “what is wrong with you?”
If you are ready to move your big rock.
This is your invitation.
Because your nervous system deserves safety.
Your life deserves presence.
And your healing matters.
Work with me
Ready to break free from your own emotional outsourcing habits?
Anchored is my 6 month group program designed to help you build nervous system safety, reclaim your self trust, and stop outsourcing your worth to others.
If you’re tired of overfunctioning, saying yes when you mean no, and feeling disconnected from your own needs and desires, Anchored is for you. You’ll learn practical somatic tools, receive powerful feminist coaching, and be held in a community that truly gets it.
Applications are open now. Learn more and apply here my love.
Tags:
healing, nervous system healing, somatic healing, emotional healing, emotional outsourcing, perfectionism, people pleasing, nervous system regulation,