Tenderoni Hotline #38: The Hidden Link Between Chronic Pain, Trauma & People Pleasing with Nicole Sachs
This week on the Tenderoni Hotline, we're exploring the hidden connection between chronic pain, people pleasing, trauma, and the nervous system.
I'm joined by bestselling author, psychotherapist, and mind-body medicine expert Nicole Sachs for a rich conversation about why so many of us learned to disconnect from ourselves in order to stay connected to everyone else. Together, we unpack how childhood experiences shape our nervous systems, relationships, and sense of self, and why healing begins when we stop outsourcing our safety, belonging, and worth.
From chronic pain and anxiety to perfectionism, boundaries, and self-trust, this conversation offers a compassionate and science-backed perspective on why our survival strategies make so much sense and how we can begin to change them.
If you've ever wondered why setting boundaries feels terrifying, why you can't seem to relax until everyone else is okay, or why your body keeps asking for your attention, this episode is for you.
We talk about how nervous system regulation, emotional outsourcing, somatic awareness, and mind-body healing intersect, and why true healing isn't about becoming someone new. It's about remembering who you were before you learned to abandon yourself.
Tune in to hear us talk about:
- Why chronic pain and people pleasing are more connected than you think
- What emotional outsourcing is and how it shapes our relationships
- Why your nervous system equates self-abandonment with safety
- How JournalSpeak and somatic practices support mind-body healing
- Why boundaries feel so threatening and how to begin setting them
- The small, everyday practices that help rebuild self-trust
- How to stop seeking safety, belonging, and worth outside yourself
Loving Reminder from This Episode:
Your people pleasing is not a personality trait. It's a survival strategy.
The patterns that once helped you stay connected can also keep you disconnected from yourself. The beautiful news is that your nervous system can learn something new. Healing begins the moment you stop asking, "What does everyone else need from me?" and start asking, "What do I need?"
Connect with Nicole Sachs
- Learn more about Nicole and her work here.
- Listen to The Cure for Chronic Pain with Nicole Sachs podcast.
- Explore JournalSpeak and Nicole's resources for mind-body healing.
Work with me
- Grab your copy of End Emotional Outsourcing to learn how to stop performing safety and start actually feeling it.
- You will get real tools, somatic practices, and feminist coaching support to help you come home to yourself, one nervous-system-loving step at a time.
- And if you want my free orienting audio and grounding meditations to support your daily practice, head here to get your free downloads.
- My 12-week programs include live teaching, guided somatic practices, journaling workbooks, and a private podcast where I answer your questions directly. Learn more here.
Tags:
Food as Safety, Emotional Eating, Nervous System Regulation, Emotional Outsourcing, Self-Trust, Diet Culture, Functional Nutrition, Holistic Health, Perfectionism, People Pleasing, Developmental Psychology, Belonging, Worthiness, Somatic Healing,