Posts by Victoria Albina
Conflict Doesn’t Have to Be the Worst
We can make conflict, particularly in relationships with the people we care about in our lives, feel a little easier, a little lighter, a little safer to traverse. The dictionary definition of conflict is a serious disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one, which feels like very heavy language indeed. And I think we can…
Read MoreEp #161: Conflict Doesn’t Have to Be the Worst
Last week, we kicked off a vital conversation about conflict. We dove headfirst into it by discussing our disdain for it as folks with codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing thought habits, and how, surprisingly, we sometimes have a subconscious penchant for inciting it with the people we love and care most about. This week, we’re continuing…
Read MoreConflict & Codependent Thinking
Raise your paw if you’ve ever said “I hate conflict” or “I’m conflict avoidant.” I hear it all the time from my clients in Anchored. I’ve totally acted from conflict avoidance many times in my life. Let’s dive into what conflict is, what it isn’t, how our codependent, perfectionist and people-pleasing habits confuse the issue…
Read MoreEp #160: Conflict & Codependent Thinking
Raise your tender little paw if you’ve ever uttered the words, “Ugh, I hate conflict,” or, “I’m just conflict-avoidant, I’m not into it.” I hear it all the time from my clients in Anchored, and I’ve totally acted from this place many times throughout my life too. Most of us have never had a healthy…
Read MoreWhy Friendships Matter
Friendship is an important part of our lives. Several well done studies show that having quality friendships, however you define that for you, leads to increased life satisfaction, reduced loneliness, and potentially longer life span through increased social connection! I would add to that the more loving people we have to co-regulate or stabilize and…
Read MoreEp #159: Getting Anchored: False Positivity
We’re entering our third year of Covid, there are horrific things happening in the world, and my darling, are you okay? We all need room to have a bad day, week, or even year. We need space to acknowledge when things aren’t working for us. But there’s one thing that blocks us from doing just…
Read MoreWhy Privacy Matters
The difference between privacy and secrecy is that the roots of secrecy are so often shame, fear and worry about what others will think, say or do when they learn our truth. It was logical and understandable for us to decide, as children, that being secretive was safer, because it often was as children. It…
Read MoreEp #158: Why Friendship Matters
Do you often find yourself putting pressure on your romantic partner, projecting a whole village worth of expectations, wants, and needs onto them? Do you maybe find yourself without many close friends and judge yourself for it? If either of these situations sounds familiar, know there’s nothing wrong with you, my tender ravioli. This week,…
Read MoreEp #157: Relationship Red Flags are Gifts Not to Be Ignored
There’s recently been a lot of talk about relationship red flags inside Anchored, and I thought, what better way to celebrate this annual time-honored ritual of Valentine’s Day than to discuss what happens when the shit hits the fan? When we’re steeped in codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing thinking habits, one of two things tend to…
Read MoreRelationship Red Flags Are Gifts Not to be Ignored
Learning about relationship red flags is a vitally important topic for us from our codependent, perfectionist and people pleasing habits! Because we are constantly sourcing our self worth outside of ourselves. When someone wants to date us—while I’ll be framing this in dating, we can take these same lessons and apply them outside of a…
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