Posts by Victoria Albina
Bypassing a Challenging Feelings Makes it SO Much Harder to Change
If you’re White or White-passing and you’re starting to do the work of becoming anti-racist, you may feel a sense of urgency to change your thoughts ?. This is an attempt to create different feelings without really sitting with the painful ? truth. It’s called emotional bypassing ⏭️. And that simply doesn’t…
Read MoreWhen You Stop People-Pleasing, People Aren’t Pleased! And that’s okay
When people are accustomed to you putting their needs and wants and whims ahead of yours, they likely won’t be delighted when you start to heal, grow and learn to put yourself first. the people-you-used-to-pleased may have some feels about that… and that’s okay. truly. i didn’t say it would be…
Read MoreEp #71: The Fixer Thought Fantasy
Have you ever found yourself compelled to tell someone else how they should be living their life or what to do in a situation, especially when your opinion wasn’t asked for? This fixer thought fantasy is something I engaged in for most of my life, and if this sounds familiar to you, I’m here to…
Read MoreThe Fixer Thought Fantasy: You Can’t Fix Folks
Have you ever found yourself telling someone else what they should do to fix their life? How they should be living? How their life would be so much better if they just followed your plan, especially when they didn’t ask you for your input? This, my love, is the fixer thought fantasy, and it’s one…
Read MoreWhen You Stop People Pleasing and People Aren’t Pleased
We’ve talked a lot about people-pleasing in this blog. That insidious habit of thinking that we can affect or change how someone else thinks or feels about us by trying to read their mind, do what we think they want to us, which is always a projection of our own internal landscape. Your thoughts…
Read MoreEp #70: When You Stop People Pleasing and People Aren’t Pleased
We’ve been diving into the topic of people pleasing over the last few weeks and I’m continuing on today because it’s an insidious thought habit that is necessary to understand in order to address ingrained behaviors we may want to change. People-pleasing thought habits can play a big role in the perpetuation of racism, misogyny,…
Read MoreThe Power of Thought Work in Becoming an Anti-Racist Ally and Accomplice
Today we’re going to get really real about racism. As a white Latina, working every day to understand, examine, and unlearn my own anti-black racism, to unpack and get clear on my own daily privilege. The privilege of passing and code switching and moving seamlessly between the white world and the Latinx world. I offer…
Read MoreEp #69: The Power of Thought Work in Becoming an Anti-Racist Ally and Accomplice
As a healthcare provider and life coach, it is incumbent upon me to use this platform to speak to my own privilege and to be a voice for what is happening right now. Today, I am putting out a call to action for all white and white-passing folks to learn about our own privilege, and…
Read MoreHow to Interrupt the People-Pleasing Cycle
My love, this blog goes live on June 4th 2020, on the heels of the murder of George Floyd, amidst national protests around systemic racism in the US. I thought a lot about whether or not to publish a blog this week, and I decided to put this out there, remedies to people pleasing, because…
Read MoreEp #68: How to Interrupt the People-Pleasing Cycle
Last week, we talked about why we people please and all the possible root causes of this thought habit. We identified how your genius inner child learned this as a survival mechanism, and how this habit leaves you overwhelmed, exhausted, and displeased. So today, I’m diving into the remedies for people pleasing and what you…
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