Posts by Victoria Albina
Ep #74: The Dangers of False Pre-Apologies
How many situations have you found yourself apologizing for simply stating a need or want? Do you over-justify those needs and wants, or even apologize for things that don’t need an apology? My sweet beauty, this is what we’re discussing today because this is something I sure did and so many of my clients do…
Read MoreAnatomy of an Apology
There is a quiet epidemic I’ve noticed in my life coaching clients and saw in my patients, particularly my patients with GI issues. An epidemic of shame and guilt that keeps folks feeling small and from living into our truest power. That epidemic is summed up in two words, “I’m sorry.” I want to talk…
Read MoreEp #73: 6 Steps to a Healthy and Meaningful Apology
My beauties, welcome to part two of our mini-series all about apologies. This is such a vital topic to discuss at length, especially if you experience codependent, perfectionist, or people-pleasing tendencies, to start the process of living a truly intentional and peaceful life. We kicked off last week with why we apologize and the anatomy…
Read MoreEp #72: Anatomy of an Apology
Welcome to the first episode of a multi-part series on apologies. This is a huge topic, especially for those of us who have codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing thought habits. Whether you find apologizing challenging or uncomfortable, or whether you fall on the other end of the spectrum where the challenge is to stop constantly apologizing,…
Read MoreAccepting Our Racist Biases
For many White and White-passing folx starting the working of becoming anti-racist, we become so scared ? to do or say the wrong thing that we don’t do the work because we get stuck in that activated fear body. And that’s where the work needs to start, to learn to be okay with being…
Read MoreCo-regulation
Co-regulation is a vital human function. Co-regulation happens when our autonomic nervous systems attune to another person, and there is an energetic exchange that helps both creatures to get into ventral vagal, to feel safe, secure and grounded in the moment. I say creatures because while most of us think of this as…
Read MoreBypassing a Challenging Feelings Makes it SO Much Harder to Change
If you’re White or White-passing and you’re starting to do the work of becoming anti-racist, you may feel a sense of urgency to change your thoughts ?. This is an attempt to create different feelings without really sitting with the painful ? truth. It’s called emotional bypassing ⏭️. And that simply doesn’t…
Read MoreWhen You Stop People-Pleasing, People Aren’t Pleased! And that’s okay
When people are accustomed to you putting their needs and wants and whims ahead of yours, they likely won’t be delighted when you start to heal, grow and learn to put yourself first. the people-you-used-to-pleased may have some feels about that… and that’s okay. truly. i didn’t say it would be…
Read MoreEp #71: The Fixer Thought Fantasy
Have you ever found yourself compelled to tell someone else how they should be living their life or what to do in a situation, especially when your opinion wasn’t asked for? This fixer thought fantasy is something I engaged in for most of my life, and if this sounds familiar to you, I’m here to…
Read MoreThe Fixer Thought Fantasy: You Can’t Fix Folks
Have you ever found yourself telling someone else what they should do to fix their life? How they should be living? How their life would be so much better if they just followed your plan, especially when they didn’t ask you for your input? This, my love, is the fixer thought fantasy, and it’s one…
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