Posts by Beatriz Victoria Albina
False Positivity
If you spend about two seconds on social media these days, you may notice the pervasive story that everything is just fine, thank you. This is called false positivity. Now, don’t get me wrong. I love positivity and positive thinking, but unless we’re being realistic and acknowledging and holding space for the pain and the…
Read MoreEp #88: False Positivity
Have you ever held back the truth of your hurting because you’re worried it’ll be negated, or because it feels scary to get real about it? On my own journey of healing my codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing habits, I’ve come to realize how much I used to indulge in false positivity, and if this resonates,…
Read MoreGetting Real About How You Are Feeling
Perfectionist and codependent thought fantasies can lead us to think that if we are feeling terrible, there’s a problem to solve. That drive to try to make everything look perfect can lead us to not acknowledge when things do in fact totally suck, when things are actually not great. And that drive itself creates so…
Read MoreSaying What You Mean & Believing Other People
When you’ve lived a life that’s been all about other people and their comforts, happiness, preferences, pleasure, saying what you do and don’t want can be challenging to say the least. When you’re not used to directly communicating, it can also feel very challenging to believe people and what they literally tell you. Whether what…
Read MoreEp #87: Saying What You Mean & Believing Other People
When you’ve lived your life deferring your decisions to other people in an attempt to keep them happy, declaring your true desires and needs can be challenging, to say the least. Having spent a lifetime of not directly communicating also means it’s a struggle to believe what other people tell you, and today, we’re diving…
Read MoreRejection Has Nothing to Do with Your Worth
Rejection hurts because science. Evolutionarily speaking, my nerds, if you got kicked out of the village, you died. A lion ate your face and it was game over. So if you were vigilant to social rejection, you survived. If you were smart, you people pleased and upheld your perfectionist standards and you kept the community…
Read MoreEp #86: Rejection Has Nothing to Do with Your Worth
Can you imagine a world where you never had to fear rejection? You could give yourself the beautiful gift of learning to let other people’s choices be their choices and know that they have nothing to do with you, and be able to take the scary out of hearing “no.” This week, I’m showing you…
Read More6 Steps to a Healthy and Meaningful Apology
We apologize to reconnect, to repair, to stitch back together the net of relationships that was made weaker by something we said or did. We apologize because love and peace and understanding feel amazing, and being radically honest with ourselves and those we love about where we’ve F’ed up is so freeing. To do that,…
Read MoreGuilt Guilt Guilt! Helpful vs. Unhelpful Guilt
It’s normal and human to F up, to make a mistake, to not do a thing you said you’d do. But for many of us, not measuring up to some internal standard of perfection leads to a spiral of guilt. The kind of guilt that leads us to be unkind to ourselves, to beat ourselves…
Read MoreEp #85: Guilt Guilt Guilt!
For many of us, not measuring up to our own expectations, or messing up and harming someone else leads us down a spiral of guilt. We’re unkind to ourselves and a beatdown ensues, and my sweet love, doing this is not serving you or anyone else. While we get to learn to drop the kind…
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