Posts by Beatriz Victoria Albina
Ep #163: The Self-Abandonment Cycle
As a chronic codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing thinker, one of the methods I used in childhood and far into adulthood to try to get the love, care, and acceptance I was looking for was to over-give. I used to give from my empty cup instead of from my overflow, more than I wanted to, and…
Read MoreEp #162: Clean Fight Club Rules
Welcome to the final installment of our mini-series all about interpersonal conflict. We’ve been speaking at length about what conflict is and how to support ourselves, and last week, I hinted that I would share something I love so much and have found to be truly helpful in any relationship: Clean Fight Club Rules. If…
Read MoreConflict Doesn’t Have to Be the Worst
We can make conflict, particularly in relationships with the people we care about in our lives, feel a little easier, a little lighter, a little safer to traverse. The dictionary definition of conflict is a serious disagreement or argument, typically a protracted one, which feels like very heavy language indeed. And I think we can…
Read MoreEp #161: Conflict Doesn’t Have to Be the Worst
Last week, we kicked off a vital conversation about conflict. We dove headfirst into it by discussing our disdain for it as folks with codependent, perfectionist, and people-pleasing thought habits, and how, surprisingly, we sometimes have a subconscious penchant for inciting it with the people we love and care most about. This week, we’re continuing…
Read MoreConflict & Codependent Thinking
Raise your paw if you’ve ever said “I hate conflict” or “I’m conflict avoidant.” I hear it all the time from my clients in Anchored. I’ve totally acted from conflict avoidance many times in my life. Let’s dive into what conflict is, what it isn’t, how our codependent, perfectionist and people-pleasing habits confuse the issue…
Read MoreEp #160: Conflict & Codependent Thinking
Raise your tender little paw if you’ve ever uttered the words, “Ugh, I hate conflict,” or, “I’m just conflict-avoidant, I’m not into it.” I hear it all the time from my clients in Anchored, and I’ve totally acted from this place many times throughout my life too. Most of us have never had a healthy…
Read MoreWhy Friendships Matter
Friendship is an important part of our lives. Several well done studies show that having quality friendships, however you define that for you, leads to increased life satisfaction, reduced loneliness, and potentially longer life span through increased social connection! I would add to that the more loving people we have to co-regulate or stabilize and…
Read MoreEp #159: Getting Anchored: False Positivity
We’re entering our third year of Covid, there are horrific things happening in the world, and my darling, are you okay? We all need room to have a bad day, week, or even year. We need space to acknowledge when things aren’t working for us. But there’s one thing that blocks us from doing just…
Read MoreWhy Privacy Matters
The difference between privacy and secrecy is that the roots of secrecy are so often shame, fear and worry about what others will think, say or do when they learn our truth. It was logical and understandable for us to decide, as children, that being secretive was safer, because it often was as children. It…
Read MoreEp #158: Why Friendship Matters
Do you often find yourself putting pressure on your romantic partner, projecting a whole village worth of expectations, wants, and needs onto them? Do you maybe find yourself without many close friends and judge yourself for it? If either of these situations sounds familiar, know there’s nothing wrong with you, my tender ravioli. This week,…
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