Posts by Victoria Albina

How often do you find yourself erupting in defensiveness? Does receiving feedback or critique feel like a personal attack? Is your reactivity negatively impacting your relationships? And how can you course correct when you find yourself being defensive? If you’re ready to stop moving through the world feeling primed for an attack and are tired…

How often do you find yourself mired in stories filled with past regrets? You know, those thoughts that start with, “If I just hadn’t done…”? Thoughts like these cause your brain to run wild with negativity bias and paint a picture of a would-be rosy life that’s just within reach. These thought patterns may feel…

My wife Billey was recently talking about a term in Buddhism that parallels so much of what we tend to do in emotional outsourcing, and that term translates to “idiot compassion.” This specific term feels a bit harsh and judgmental to me, but there are other, similar phrases that carry the same meaning and can…

If you relate to my definition of emotional outsourcing tendencies, the thought of giving yourself true rest likely hasn’t crossed your mind in a hot minute. But have you ever wondered what it would be like to just call it and decide you’re not going to push through when your internal world is screaming for…

In a world where codependence and independence are posited as the only two options for how we can show up in our lives, you’re not alone if you feel a sense of tension in either way of being. White-settler, colonial, and patriarchal narratives tell us that if we don’t look out only for ourselves and…

Something I’ve noticed in the Anchored community, and out in the world in general, is that there’s even more worry going around than usual. I get it. There are a lot of things going on that we could tell worried stories around, and our nervous systems jump to worry because they’re here to protect us.…

Many of us on the journey of self-exploration get pretty comfortable spending time in our heads. As we start to get a handle on thought work, we begin to lean on it, sometimes at the expense of our physical, felt experience. While thought work does indeed play a big role in our healing, it’s important…

In my world, I’ve come to see just how much those of us with emotional outsourcing tendencies can take things personally. Often, those things have absolutely nothing to do with us! Can you relate? Maybe your tender ravioli feelings are getting hurt left and right, or maybe there’s someone in your life who’s constantly offended…

This week, I’m bringing you a live coaching call I had with one of my amazing clients inside my six-month program, Anchored: Overcoming Codependency. If you’ve ever wondered what goes on inside Anchored and what the coaching in that program looks like, this episode is for you. This conversation is a deep look into the…

Something I hear often from folks is that while they feel really solid in their independence when they’re alone, it feels like a switch gets flipped when they step into a relationship. Their emotional outsourcing tendencies seem to suddenly get amplified, especially in romantic relationships, but why does this happen? If you notice specific situations…